The White Cliffs of Dover
by IberisGalloway
Summary: Steve is just a skinny, 90 pounds of asthmatic when he meets Toni and falls in love with her. Read as they go through trials of friendship, jealousy, heartbreak and some bright streaks happiness painted across the dark skies clouded by war. This story takes place in the 1940s and features Fem!Tony
1. Begine the Beguine

**Author's Note:** This is what happens when you wait for your favourite fanfiction to be updated. You get inspired by it and start writing your own as you leave all your other responsibilities (and stories) behind! Though this story is inspired by 'Malfunctioning Time' by Kiragirl17, I would like to point that this is completely my own idea and this has no semblance to that except that fact we have taken liberty with the same characters from the Marvel Cinematic Universe. Yes, this is based in 1940s but it's not a time travel story.

And when I say, I took liberty with the characters, boy do I mean it!

So, without further adieu, I give you 'The White Cliffs of Dover'!

Soundtrack: Begin the Beguine by Frank Sinatra

-o-

_**Brooklyn, United States 1943**_

"Bucky, put that thing away before you break something!"

"Steve, but I am bored and don't worry, it's just a ball." James replied, rolling his eyes as he continued to throw the worn out ball against the wall and catch it with one hand as it bounced back, "What can possibly go wrong?"

And really, one shouldn't ask stupid questions like that. The ball bounced back off from an angle and caught the ratty old shelf instead. All its items toppled off one by one from the edge as it succumbed to the domino effect. Finally, like a dramatic climax, it happened in slow motion, the final book hit the angel figurine as it toppled the crackling radio. The old radio met its rather unfortunate (but long time coming) end and stopped the crooning of Frank Sinatra short.

"Buckyyy!"

-o-

"What are we doing here again, Bucky?" Steve huffed, as he kicked through the junk around him.

"Looking for a radio, you knucklehead."

"Don't call me that" Steve folded his arms defensively as he stood straighter, back straighter.

"Yeah? Well, don't ask stupid questions then." Bucky rolled his eyes and then turned to his friend who looked put off.

"Well, it's not stupid as I don't see a radio anywhere." Steve replied hotly.

"Well, of course it won't just be sitting on a throne majestically for us to magically find."Bucky replied and then added with a charming grin. "And remember we found one here last time so…"

"Last time was years ago, Buck and with the war…it's even hard to find scrap metal to sell!"

"Ease up, big boy, we will find something"

-o-

"Well that was a dud" Bucky exclaimed loudly as he fell back on the hard bed. It groaned and rattled under the weight but remained standing.

"Yes, Bucky it was"

"I can feel you judging me, Steve" Barnes rolled over to look at his friend. "Stop judging me. I guess we will have to get the broken one fixed after all. I think they fix'em up for cheap down by the Sal's, you think?"

"Bucky, you know we have no money to get it fixed." Steve was perched on the window, hunching to look down at the streets. Somehow, those made him look even smaller.

"I don't know, between listening to the broad upstairs complaining to her poor bastard of a husband and listening to Peggy Lee, I think I can pick the better dame*." And then seeing the unimpressed look on his friend's face, Bucky added. "I could ask for extra hours or maybe they will finally let me be a soda jerker*."

"Think Mr. Patterson will do that?" Steve sounded hopeful. Mr. Patterson, Bucky's employer at the diner and told him that Bucky needed to work for few more weeks before he could be given the responsibility to man the soda fountain when Bucky had previously asked to be given that job instead of just bussing tables which hardly got him much. And it had been just over a month that Bucky had been working at Big P's Family Diner so maybe it was a possibility. "Maybe I could see if they will want to give a little more for the comic strip this time at the papers."

"Yeah, you do that, and I will see Mr. Patterson about it early tomorrow and I think there is a shop downtown where we can get the radio fixes, I will get a price on it, too." Bucky stated and then added as an afterthought "Hey, maybe you should consider drawing for a girly magazine*."

Bucky shuffled under his pillow before pulling out a worn magazine copy and threw it across the room towards Steve. Steve barely managed to catch it before he lost his balance and stumbled forward.

"For reference." Bucky winked showing off his pearly teeth in a boyish grin.

"Dagnamit*! Bucky!" Steve cursed, as he flipped the magazine randomly in the centre without thought only to shut it close it immediately with a huff and reddening cheeks.

Bucky burst out laughing, almost falling off the small bed.

"Oh Steve! Your face! Your cheeks look as rosy as a dame's!"

Steve tried to ignore him, cheeks still aflame. He looked down at his laps, but of course his lap was covered by Bucky's girly magazine. On the cover, was a beautiful dame and he would have said beautiful even if she wasn't wearing so little clothing. Her eyes were lined with kohl and her eyebrows arched delicately, and puckered red lips greeted him coquettishly.

"Don't glare at Betty Grable" Bucky yelled across, after finally curbing his laughter.

"I am not glaring at her." Steve retorted as he tossed the magazine back.

"Hey! A little care! This is probably going to be a family heirloom to give to my grandchildren" Bucky shouted back as he smoothened the cover and blew over imaginary film of dust in a very dramatic manner

"You are bonkers," Steve exclaimed, laughing and Bucky smirked back.

"What? I like brunettes." Bucky said as he started flicking through the magazine only to turn sideways and catch Steve's eye and they both burst out laughing.

-o-

Glossary:

✪Dame: a pretty girl or a woman…sort of like today's equivalent of "chick"

✪Soda jerker: someone who makes ice-cream sodas, sundaes in a diner or a drugstore.

✪girly magazine: A pornographic magazine but back then I am imagining more pin up models and not as explicit as today's magazine. However, there is nudity.

✪Dagnamit: Dammit

-o-

**End Notes:**

Please review :)


	2. I'm a woman

Steve scratched from the right and scratched over it from left. The sound of charcoal scratching against the drawing paper was the only sound in the small apartment and occasionally, one heard the honking of a jalopy* and neighbours screaming hoarse at each other, feuding over the ration or cursing the Nazis and then talk about Roosevelt before diving into Oklahoma. Steve hardly paid any attention to it though, too lost in slashing the right amount of hashing to get the shade on the fruit bowl just right.

But he didn't miss the sound of the door slamming open and the maniacally barging Bucky.

"Steve, I think I am in love."

-o-

Soundtrack: I am a Woman by Peggy Lee

"Get out or else I will slug you!" The female voice was powerful and Steve reeled back because he had never heard a dame speak that way before.

"Ease up, doll face. Don't be like that. All I asked is for you to skip work and have a soda with me." Now, Steve liked the greasy voice talking to the woman even less.

"Not interested, now get out if you ain't here to get anything fixed!" The dame spoke and he could feel the angry energy. He moved forward to help, only to be pushed back by Bucky.

"Just wait." Bucky whispered and they both watched the spectacle - Steve, reluctantly.

The young man that Steve thought looked vaguely familiar pulled at his suspenders and snapped it before sneering.

"Yeah, well dressed like that, you are probably a dyke* anyway." The greasy man spew out venomously, and Steve leapt out front only to be pushed back by Barnes once again. Why wasn't Bucky doing anything? Nobody should talk to a lady that way. Also, the comment made Steve glance once at what she was wearing and from what he could see from front of the counter, she was wearing large men's trousers with a large open check shirt over a faded white shirt. There weren't many women who wore pants and those who did, worked at the factory but this pretty dame obviously didn't work there, yet she was wearing them and Steve thought she couldn't have looked more beautiful. Also, she was a brunette.

"Well, I would rather be a dyke than go anywhere with a bloody swine like you."

And Steve decided she also cussed like a sailor.

"She is dynamite, Steve." Bucky whispered in his ears once again, eyes shining in something like admiration as the greasy git stormed out of the store, the small bell above the door ringing sharply in the passing.

"You going to stand there gawk or you have something to get fixed?" She snapped towards their direction and Bucky gave the most charming smile.

"Yes, doll, I came in here earlier about the radio?" Bucky said his voice low and flirtatious.

"Be more specific. A lot of people came about a radio" She smiled back, a mocking saccharine smile, completely unimpressed by the charm being laid on.

Bucky faltered slightly but recovered as he extended his hand behind him and called out, "hey, Steve. Hand me the radio."

"Steve? Buddy? Are you there" Bucky turned around but no one was behind him.

"Yeah, your pal just walked out actually." She stated, as she folded her arms and leaned against her chair behind the counter.

"Dammit, Rogers! You idiot!" Bucky cursed and immediately ran out, knowing very well why Steve had left.

Barnes ran two empty alleys uptown. He found out he had company when he found someone else was running beside him and asking, "Okay, where are we running? What are we looking for? That skinny friend of yours?"

And that made him stop short. What was the pretty dame doing following him?

"What are you doing?" He asked, breathing heavily.

"Uh. I asked you first, knucklehead." She breathed out hotly, hands poised on her hips, chest heaving up and down.

"Look, my friend-yeah, the skinny one-has this very high moral beliefs and he doesn't like bullies and he has no sense of self preservation-" Barnes was cut off as she raised her hand in front to signal him to stop.

"He went after that twat from the shop, didn't he?" She said slowly as she added the pieces together. "We have to find him before the twit clips* the fellow." and Bucky nodded urgently.

"You go look at the next alley because they couldn't have gotten further than that and I will run downtown's corners." She added before turning around and running away from him and disappearing around the block. Barnes cursed because he was so caught up in worry that he didn't think the bastard could be beating Steve right now somewhere else and Bucky could only desperately hope that it was the next alley alleyway.

Of course it wasn't so he turned head and ran to find his friend and the dame. He hoped nothing bad had happened yet. As he crossed the shop and the next two alleys, he heard loud yelling and someone groaning; and enough experience told him that it wasn't Steve

The yelling voice however, had become familiar over the course of the hour.

-o-

"If you don't get lost now, the cops will be the last thing you will be worrying about" The very angry female voice shouted.

The big bully let go off his grip of Steve's bloody shirt and shoved him off. He glared down at Steve and sneered. "Next time, try picking a fight with someone your own size." He then turned towards her. "Dolly, you don't want to do this."

"Don't I?" She mocked before slugging him. The goon looked a mixture of shock and anger but quickly got over it and tried to punch back only to be kicked in the groin. The bully went down, howling in pain.

Bucky had reached the mouth of the alley and had seen enough to be impressed and slightly terrified. He did run towards them but was nothing more than a spectator as he saw the dame catch the assailant's arm and twist it around. More painful growl followed.

He saw her bend down and say smoothly, "Now, when I let go, you are going to leave and never show me your disgusting face again."

She let go and turned away and lent a hand down to Steve.

But of course, some people don't understand polite language and as he got up preparing to charge.

"Buddy, I don't think you want to do that." Bucky spoke as he kicked the other in the stomach. The bully jerked back but threw a punch that Bucky caught mid-air. "If a dame can kick your hide, you really want to try this with me?"

And a few punches and kicks was enough for the other to decide he couldn't win; he turned tails and ran off, but not before Bucky managed to kick him in the butt one last time.

"You all folks, okay?" Bucky turned towards them but got a slugger* in the face instead. "OWWW! What was that?!" he yelled, more surprise than pain, even though it did hurt quite a bit.

"Think about it." Was the sharp reply from the brunette. "and don't call me a dame ever again."

"I had him on the ropes."Steve also defensively added towards Bucky when he turned towards the blonde and a snort reverberated through the alley. Steve glared at the source.

"What? It wasn't a joke?" She asked sweetly, too sweetly. Then she went back to speak normally. "C'mon, let's get you cleaned up, and that cut checked. First we need to get to the shop so I can close it down and I live just a block away so keep up."

Steve and Bucky exchanged glances but dutifully followed the brunette.

She stopped short as they reached the mouth of the alley and they too stopped abruptly behind her.

"Oh! By the way, name's Toni." And with that she turned the corner.

-o-

Glossary:

✪Jalopy: A type of an old car

✪ "Oklahoma" was a popular musical on stage in 1943

✪Dyke: A female homosexual

✪to clip: to kill

✪slugger: punch

-o-

**End Note**: Toni punched him and I am happy about that. You deserved that one, Bucks!

So, what do you think? Like it? Hate it? And we finally have Toni! Yay!

Don't forget to review :)


	3. The Lady is a Tramp

Soundtrack: The Lady is a Tramp by Frank Sinatra

-o-

Steve learned a lot about Toni in the following days, he learned how her apartment was even smaller than the one him and Bucky shared or maybe it was so because of the litter of wires and scraps and metal tools lying around everywhere. He also learned she was smart and maybe not just smart but a genius. And, Bucky will bless her for the rest of his life over the fact that she fixed their radio without any charge.

"for defending my honour" she had said, snorting and shaking her head, amusement laced in her brown eyes as she had cleaned the cuts on his face before applying band aids.

He also learned she was funny and kind and cursed worse than any one he had ever met. He also learned that her brown hair was as wild as she was and it would always be a wavy mess no matter how many times she ran her brush through them and pin it down.

But mostly, he learned how different she was from any other dame he had met. Not that he had met many; in fact, he hadn't even talked to one properly. He was barely 90 pounds of flesh and bones and shorter than most men his age-hell even shorter than some women. To say, he wasn't popular with the ladies would have been an understatement. Who wanted to dance with someone who they could possibly step on? So, it continued to take him by surprise since the first moment, whenever she even talked to him.

_"You feeling better now, big cheese*?" She had asked, wiping her hands on her trousers after lightly patting his bandages._

_"He is probably feeling a dozen times better since a beautiful woman played nurse." Bucky had piped in and Steve couldn't help wince in sympathy as Toni had provided him the iciest stare and completely ignored him._

_"Steve, how do you feel?" She had asked again, with extra emphasis on his name._

_Despite his best effort, a blush had made its way to his face and neck. He had gulped but hastily answered. "Better. Much better."_

-o-

_"I am invisible!"Bucky had mumbled disbelievingly as soon as they were out of Toni's apartment. "I am turning into you. It's like a horrible dream"_

_Steve will deny that it hurt more than he claimed as had Bucky said that but he had calmly, and a little sardonically replied, "Don't take it so hard. Maybe she's got a friend." so, maybe there were even._

_Add to that the fact that Bucky was always the one to make the ladies swoon and who was always popular with them, but this one amazing woman had chosen to speak just a few words to him over his friend. He will admit that it had made him feel euphoric and it still did every time._

-o-

"Steve, you are not my mother. I am not cleaning anything. I can perfectly find my things which means everything is in place." Toni moaned as Steve gave back the most unimpressed look. The three of them had become better friends than he had ever thought them becoming. But after seeing the same mess her apartment was for almost a week, he had decided to intervene.

"Toni, this is a pig sty! Even Bucky's side is cleaner than this place"

"Hey!" Bucky shot up defensively.

"Shut up and tell her to clean the place, it's absolutely filthy." Steve glared a little at his friend.

"I don't know, Steve. It looks okay to me." Bucky lazily said, as surveyed Toni's small apartment.

"Honestly, Steve. Bucky is turning into my favourite more and more." Toni huffed out, folding her arms against her chest.

"You mean I wasn't your favourite before?" Bucky pouted and wobbled his lips for a dramatic flourish.

"That is it. I am leaving and I won't be back till you clean this place, Toni or I will do it for you." Steve finally gave up, arms up in defeat as he shrugged on his jacket and left.

"That's what I was counting on for." Tony shouted at the retreating back and Bucky dissolved into giggles.

-o-

"Don't be such a downer, Steve." Toni pouted and then pulled the diner menu off the table. She perused the menu shortly and then slammed it down emphatically. "C'mon! Hot cakes and coffee is on me. And ham too, if you arrange my physic periodicals alphabetically."

Steve continued to stare defiantly as he folded his arm and leaned back against the diner booth. He had only sat down in his seat when Bucky and Toni had barged in loudly, yelling for Steve much to the dismay of the other patrons who had thrown dirty glares at the pair.

"C'mon, pip*. I will even throw in the Adam and Eve on raft* if you fold my unmentionables* all nice and tight."Tony continued with a wink and a sultry pout but it was meant to more humorous and exaggerated than seductive; Bucky raised a questioning eyebrow.

Steve blushed red quickly at Toni's words and simply blurted out, "You know, a lady should not speak so crassly."

Silence filled the pause between them. Finally, Toni leaned forward slightly and picked the menu back. "Well, isn't that spiffy because I don't fucking remember telling anyone I ever was a bloody fucking lady then, right Sweetie?"

Steve heard a bunch of girls gasp behind them in horror and a few close by patrons shot a scathing glare towards Toni; even Bucky looked shocked but soon he was trying to stifle his laughter.

Unconcerned, Toni then waved for a waitress and ordered hotcakes, eggs, sausages and toast alongside coffee for them all.

"Isn't that too much?"Bucky asked, raising an eyebrow, and Toni had merely waved him off. "Got my salary this week and I am hungry."

Later when their breakfast arrived, Toni stole Steve's eggs and Bucky's sausages and called it retribution.

-o-

Glossary:

✪Big Cheese: The most important or influential man

✪Pip: an attractive man

✪Adam and eve on raft: sausage and eggs on toast (Diner slang)

✪Undergarments

-o-

**End Notes: **

Remember, review is love and I need love to survive! :)


	4. I don't know enough about you

Soundtrack: I don't know enough about you by Peggy lee

-o-

Toni lived in a poor neighbourhood much as their own but her dingy apartment was on the 3rd floor that looked over the street instead of being on the 2nd like their own. Tony always yelled and wolf whistled unnecessarily from the window when she saw Steve down the streets; mostly it was when he came to visit her.

Being mainly unemployed or employed seasonally as the newspapers' requirements, Steve had a lot of time to visit her at her home but mostly it was at her job at the electronics store. And he made it a mission to visit here there as often as possible too because of all the men that came in to the store to buy nothing and only bother Toni. There was one time someone had spanked her rear when she was stocking the shelves and Toni had almost broken his hand; so, he knew Toni could take care of herself but it still made him very protective of his friend.

"How did you learn to fight like that?" Steve asked in awe, when she had kicked out yet another "customer" for making inappropriate advances on her. Steve hated men like that, those who didn't respect a dame and treated them like objects.

"I had training, you could say." She told him vaguely as she blew the stray strand of hair away from her eyes, only to land back over her face.

"Here, let me." Steve volunteered. He picked the stray lock and tucked it behind her ear. "There you go."

Only when he looked back at her face, he realised how close to close they were which made him jump back immediately as if scorched. Toni was looking at him funnily, head cocked to one side and he desperately tried to urge down the rising blush.

"Um...uh you were saying something about training?" Steve tried to pick back the thread of their conversation.

Toni nodded, shaking herself out of her trance.

"I wouldn't say training exactly but when I lived with my old man in New York, there was this retired boxer who lived two doors away."Toni pulled her pony tail front and started playing with it, with a fond smile. "Happy, his name was. Or something that started with an H, but I called him Happy because that was his nickname from his days at the rink."

"Wait, you lived in New York?" Steve asked and Toni nodded in affirmation.

"Moved here about 3 years ago. My old man still lives there." Tony smiled reminiscing. "Well, he isn't my real father. Lord knows he is dead. But Jarvis sort of adopted me when I was four years old and he's been like my real pops since then."

"He sounds like a nice man."

"He is. Hey, maybe one day, I will introduce you to him and you can see New York for yourself." She smiled and asked, "Have you ever been to New York?"

Steve shook his head. He had hardly stepped out of Brooklyn.

"Well, that settles it then! When this wretched war is over, we are hoping on the first bus and ferry to New York! You, me and Barnes!" She stated empathically and eyes hopeful. And, Steve felt himself drowning in the sea of warmth that radiated from them.

There was comfortable silence that followed the declaration.

"Back to the story" Toni said loudly as she patted her thighs and conspiringly leaned forward. "I was a bratty kid."

Steve huffed out a laugh but tried to defend her but she continued.

"No no! I was! If you think I am bad now, you should have seen me when I was a kid."

"You are not so bad, Toni." Steve commented and Toni looked at him fondly but didn't say anything on it.

"I was a weird kid too. I never got along with the other girl who wanted to play tea parties and house and in fact, I didn't even get along with the boys. I picked fights with the boys, not always on purpose but mostly, I got beaten up." Toni raised her hand to stop Steve, who had already opened his mouth in protest. "They always let me go easy though since I was a girl. And because my older brother beat them back for me."

"You have a brother?"Steve asked and Toni looked uncomfortable.

"We don't talk anymore. Last I heard, he was joining the war."

"He is a soldier?"

"Something like that." She snorted and Steve got the impression that she didn't want to talk about her estranged brother. "You going to join the war, Steve?"

"Of course. It is an honour to serve and fight for what's right." Steve humbly said and he waited for the scoff and disbelief that always followed his declaration to join the war. After all, someone as sickly and skinny as him could win no war in people's mind.

But instead he heard a soft hum of agreement, "I figured you would. Sounds like something you would do."

Steve didn't say anything and just looked at Toni. She didn't have a trace of condescendence; instead she looked like she actually believed Steve could fight in the war.

"You think they will want me?" He asked despite himself.

"I don't think they will want you." She said honestly and Steve tried not to be hurt by the words since he had heard the same from many others, including Bucky before. However, no one had said the next thing Toni said. "But I think they will need someone like you."

Steve couldn't comprehend what she meant and she didn't elaborate and they fell into silence. Toni caught the thread of their previous conversation and began.

"When I was a kid, I did have a good friend though. Bruce his name was. His parents moved to India and I never saw him again. Well, I had Virginia too but she was a cousin so I don't know if that counts. By the time I was 9, skinned knees and bloody elbows was almost a normal thing. Jarvis always scolded me for my behaviour but he couldn't stop me either."

Now, Steve just looked disapprovingly at her and Toni smirked back, shrugging

"Then one day, I got back home and on the couch, there was this man sitting. Jarvis was also there, sipping tea and when he saw me, dirty face and hair a mess, he made me clean up before presenting me to the man."

Steve was listening in rapt attention.

"The man was Happy and Jarvis told me that if I couldn't stop picking fights and getting beaten all the time, maybe I could learn how to fight right and the boys would give up after a point."

Steve's eyebrows shooted up and Toni laughed.

"If anything, the old man was a pragmatist. Well, the fights never stopped really but I got good at them over time and slowly, but surely, we all became friends. Not your conventional friendship but it worked with the boys." Tony then scrunched and added. "Not so much with the girls, they somehow thought I was a loose woman."

Steve looked angry at that but Toni just laughed at something she had remembered and continued, "In fact, I think I was 16 when someone's father or older brother had come to our house and told my father how they thought I was a shameless harlot and that they should keep me away from their sons."

Steve hadn't even finished gasping in horror and saying something unsavoury when Tony added, "And Jarvis socked him so hard, his nose wouldn't stop bleeding"

Tony had burst out laughing and Steve couldn't stop laughing after he pictures it in his head.

She then pulled out 2 cigarettes from her pockets and handed one to Steve who shook his head. "I don't. Asthma." He explained.

Toni nodded thoughtfully at that and asked concernedly, "Will my smoke bother your asthma?"

"Nah. Bucky sometimes smokes but he does it outside our apartment or by the open window but you shouldn't smoke you know." Steve said honestly then quickly added. "And this is not just because you are a woman. It's bad for your health, asthma or not. I say this to Bucky too."

Toni simply snorted softly, a small smile played on her sealed lips that held an unlit cigarette. She pulled it out and said quietly, "That's what my old man, Jarvis used to say. I miss him. Sometimes, I wonder if leaving was the right choice."

Steve was about to ask more but she stood up and walked out of the counter area and pulled the store door open. With half her body inside the store, she flipped the "Closed" sign to the front of the glass door and waved a little hand motion to let Steve know that he should follow her.

"C'mon. Smoke break." She cheekily told him as they stepped out and walked into the next corner, where she lit up her cigarette and took a long drag.

The next hour or so was spent in silence as she took her time to fix the jukebox that had been brought there and when he left her around evening, he didn't even think she noticed. Toni was strange that way, she became completely disconnected from the world if she was handed a screwdriver and a broken machine.

Until that day, he thought he had already learned a lot about her already but he realised he didn't know enough about her and that meant he could only learn more about her. He liked that.

-o-

**End Notes**:

When I said, characters and origins and parallels, I wasn't kidding! Also, I love the idea of Jarvis 'adopting' Toni because in the comics he was Tony's butler and continued to be a semblance of a father to him throughout. And, I approve of Science bros!

Nana nana nana nana REVIEW! :D


	5. Rum and Coca Cola

Soundtrack: Rum and Coca Cola by The Andrew Sisters

-o-

"These places…well, you know not many dames come around these places."

Toni merely raised an eyebrow and Bucky shrugged and raised his arms in surrender.

"Fine. Just don't pass out or puke on me, okay?"

"You say it like this is my first time visiting such "fine" establishments. I have drunk before." Toni rolled her eyes. "And men don't own bars. A woman has an equal right to places as them."

When they entered into the bar, people at first didn't pay any attention to them, until they started noticing Toni and then there were cat callings and wolf whistling but they did die when she just shot them all a scathing gaze. Yes, like Bucky had stated, there weren't many other dames here, a very few handful but none of them looked as beautiful as Toni in her simple cotton dress and canvas shoes. The dress hugged her natural waist and was buttoned down at the front but it was nothing fancy. She was also wearing stockings but Toni had told them it was just painted on* with a conspiring wink.

But, by the time they had found a table, people weren't staring as much as Barnes thought they would and were mostly left in piece except for when a few drunks stumbled forward to ask Toni to dance or some lecherous drunks asked her how much she charged. Of course, either Bucky or Toni would take care of these without even raising their fists; words were enough.

"Why can't they get that you are not fancy lady!" Steve shouted angrily, but his voice could still be barely heard in the noise of the busy bar. "It's like they have never seen a woman before."

But instead of an equally rant that he expected, he got a bubble of laughter from Toni, "Fancy lady? Really, Steve? What is this? The 1800s?"

"Steve here is a fuddy duddy*" Barnes too laughed good naturedly.

"A sweet fuddy duddy." She crooned, scrunching her nose and pinched both his cheeks.

"So, what are you two having?" Bucky asked as he got up to head to the bar.

"A root beer is fine for me." Steve said and Toni shook her head disapprovingly. "He will have a Manhattan- I am getting Stevie drunk tonight! And, rum and cola for me, please." Toni gave her most charming smile, inclusive of a flirty wink and Bucky rolled his eyes, not exactly unaffected but still with a nod, he walked away.

-o-

"I don't think that has any alcohol in it." Toni commented as she eyed the bottle of root beer in Bucky's hand. Bucky shrugged.

"I know Steve and how well he cannot handle alcohol. And, I don't know you around one so…" He leaned forward and handed her the glass that the waiter had left for them. "I think I will play safe here just to take care of you."

"You planning to save me from the big bad puddles and gutters?" Toni leaned forward slightly and took the drink away from his hand. She took a small sip over the top and licked her lips. "Hm…I don't know if that's a smart move."

Steve looked at them flirting from across the table, and he felt invisible. He picked up the drink Toni had ordered for him and stared at it dubiously. He never drank. He had once when Bucky had made him try whiskey but he hated the awful taste of it. Yet, he couldn't refuse Toni. He absentmindedly chugged it down, feeling imperceptible. It felt like drinking alone as he saw his friends flirt between themselves but then he felt someone thump his back with quite some force...

"Atta boy, Steve!" It was Toni and she was looking at him with an openly happy expression-but so different from the looks she had been giving Bucky. Steve didn't know how he felt about that. He had promised himself he wouldn't get jealous of Bucky. And he had succeeded not to do that his entire life but now…

Toni was yelling encouragingly as he chugged down the rest of the drink. He didn't even notice the burn of the of the drink, only the feeling of Toni's arm in the crook of his arm as she laughed, her head thrown back in an elegant arch that he wanted to immediately draw.

In the moment of liquid courage, he asked, "Toni, can I draw you?"

"I mean I know that sounds probably weird. I am not that good anyways, I mostly do stuff for newspaper and I just thought you looked bea-" He was rambling fearing for rejection but Toni cut him short and he was never more glad to be cut short because he wasn't sure if he wanted to hear her response to any of his confessions.

"I would love to and be deeply honoured, Steve." She said and Steve could tell that it was as sincere as the smile she had on.

"Maybe I could draw you too, Toni." Bucky supplied flirtatiously but Toni paid him no mind and Steve shot him a short glance because Bucky could not draw to save his life, nor had he the patience to learn when he had practically begged Steve to make him into Da Vinci overnight.

He looked back at Toni and saw her sincere smile being replaced by her signature smirk.

"You know I had a friend named Jack who drew women, well mostly French prostitutes because they were more than willing to get naked..." She then turned to fully face Steve and angled her neatly plucked eyebrows. "You wouldn't want to draw me like one of 'em French girls would you? Because I can do that."

In the table, Bucky spat out his drink looking back and forth between the smirking Toni and spluttering Steve, who was looking redder by the second.

"No no no!" Steve vehemently denied, almost chocking on his own tongue. "Clothes, please and you can even wear Bucky's raincoat."

"You are missing out on an opportunity to see a real 'live dame naked, Steve." Bucky sing-songed teasingly but still looking at Toni with awe and wide eyes.

Steve looked haggardly at Toni because surely she was joking but she was peering over her glass as she tossed it down. He looked at her pleadingly and saw her playfully roll her eyes.

"I respect your decision, Steve. Not agree but respect."She said and then no further arguments were made, even though he could swear he heard Bucky calling him an idiot over and over again.

-o-

Like Bucky had said, Steve couldn't handle his liquor and was smiling goofily at Toni the whole time, much to his annoyance. But to his surprise, Toni could; however, after the 6th one even she was blabbering nonsensical things about Howard Stark. Bucky could swear that every dame on the country had a thing for the guy!

When they finally left the bar, it was around 8 and he was going to drop Toni off at her place before dragging Steve's ass back to their own.

Toni had stopped muttering about Howard Stark and now was shamelessly flirting with Steve, who looked blissfully unaware as he pushed her hair back and held onto her hand. Bucky had to give it to him, this was probably the furthest he had ever spent with a girl and the girl being Toni made it ten times more impressive. But it also made him feel funny. It wasn't jealousy, he told himself a couple of times but anytime Steve touched her or Toni whispered something in his ears, he just felt irrationally annoyed. And he couldn't understand what was exactly happening. He wasn't being a bad friend but he knew Steve had nothing going on for him; he was skinny, sickly and clearly a head shorter. Also, he looked like a wind could knock him over if it blew mildly enough. So, why Toni was dragging Steve to look at the movie poster with their hands interlocked together instead of him was a surprise.

But he went with it, thinking it was the alcohol and stood behind them as Toni tugged at Steve's sleeves and pointed at the **_Lassie come home_*** movie poster.

"I want one!" She empathically yelled a little too loudly, garnering a dirty glare from anyone nearby. She was pointing at the dog in the poster and Bucky rolled his eyes in amusement before tugging at her arm.

"No, Toni. You can't have the dog." Bucky told her and felt like he was dealing with a child.

"But I want one!"She pouted sulkily but before Bucky could say anything, Steve tore the poster off the wall and carefully folded it before putting it inside his pockets. "I will get you one, Toni."

Toni gave out a squeal of joy and hugged Steve around the neck and squealed once more into his neck. "You are such a sweetie!"

And seriously, Bucky was way out of his depth here.

-o-

Glossary:

**…paint their legs/painted stockings**: During the wars, fabrics such as silk, nylons became scarce so stockings were hard to find. Women would paint their legs a slightly darker tone and use black liquid eyeliner to draw the usual seam up the back of the leg to give the appearance, from far away, of wearing stockings.

**Fancy lady**: A prostitute (I was watching Supernatural and there was this Victorian era ghost and she called herself a fancy lady and I somehow really wanted to use that word)

**Fuddy Duddy**: An old fashioned person

**Lassie come home**: was a 1943 movie about a dog that gets sold into a rich family by its poor owners but Lassie(that's the name of the dog) goes on a journey to return back to her original owners in the farm.

-o-

**End Notes**:

Let's play a game! Let's play 'Spot the Reference'!

I always ask you to review so why not ask again? *big cheesy smile*


	6. Something Stupid

**Author's Note: **GUYS! Something maaaagiical just happened! Remember how I told you this story was inspired by kiragirl17's famfiction? well…kiragirl17 reviewed my story! HAH! That is why you get an early chapter! I was going to publish them around tomorrow-ish but here you go! I am just too happy to care! :D

And she pointed out something for me. Brooklyn is one of NYC's five boroughs: The five boroughs—the Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island SO Toni previously lived in Manhattan and they will go to Manhattan "someday". Now, they are in Brooklyn, which is still NYC. Thank you, I just wanted to clarify that.

Soundtrack: Something Stupid by Nancy Sinatra & Frank Sinatra

-o-

Toni may handle alcohol well but not hangovers, Bucky realised. She was cranky, annoyed, demanding…well, that didn't sound too different from her normal days but she held her head in her hands as she groaned every time he even spoke a syllabus. Steve was still sleeping it off.

They were in Toni's tiny apartment because she refused to be parted with Steve. The sleeping arrangements had been tough because all Toni had there was a tiny cot for a bed. She had somehow convinced them both to take the bed while she slept on the couch, with an afghan thrown over.

Bucky made eggs and toast from what he found in the kitchen cabinets since Steve still had to squint through the sunlight streaming in the room. Toni made everyone some nice, steaming cups of coffee from an expensive looking package that she claimed was a gift from a distant relative. But why a distant relative would send her something expensive was beyond him.

"Sure, you didn't just steal it?" Bucky joked and she ignored him, favoring the murky liquid instead.

Toni had already gone to the hallway to use the communal telephone to phone her employer that she wouldn't be coming and since she was the only employee there, that meant the shop was closed.

Bucky left for work soon after because he now had a job as a soda jerker; however, that was on the condition he wouldn't even miss a day. He doubted Mr. Patterson meant that but he didn't want to find out.

-o-

Steve watched Bucky's back disappear and realizing he was all alone with Toni, panicked. Steve mumbled his goodbyes too and refused to believe that the strange look on Toni's face was disappointment.

Steve stumbled down the stairs and halfway met Bucky who looked at him confused.

"What are you doing here, Steve?"

"I am late for my job."He told the same chant he had mumbled at Toni.

Bucky raised an eyebrow. "You don't have a job. Well, not one that you need to get to early in the morning, anyways."

"I...I just."Steve had nothing to say.

"Whats wrong, Steve? You can tell me anything." Bucky angled so they were now standing facing each other, Steve was leaning against the railing while Bucky had his back against the wall.

"It's...Its-Its Toni." Steve finally blurted out and Bucky said nothing as he waited the other to continue or elaborate but when Steve did nothing of that sort, he sighed and asked. "What about Toni?"

"I- Uhh-" Steve breathed harshly and chuckled humourlessly. "She is too much." That was not exactly what he wanted to say but he didn't change it.

Bucky looked at his suspiciously. "Well, she can be overwhelming sometimes but you know she's not bad at all."

"No, she. Yes, she can but that's not what I meant. It's just that I always-" Steve didn't know how to phrase it, so he merely looked down and gestured at himself. "Look at me."

"I am looking."Bucky said as he unfolded his arms against his chest. "What is this really about, Steve?"

"I told her I loved her." Steve whispered but Bucky heard him loud and clear.

"What?!"

"I told her I loved her." He said it a little louder and Bucky rolled his eyes.

"I got it the first time, pal. What did she say?"

"She said she knew."

"What?"

"Okay, are you just expressing your shock or did you not hear what I said." Steve asked exasperated.

"Really, Steve?"Bucky glared and Steve shrugged.

"I said I loved her and she told me she knew." Steve repeated.

"Then what happened?"

"I don't remember. Last night was a big blur."

Bucky rolled his eyes and smacked Steve on the head.

"Hey! What was that?" Steve asked affronted.

"Really? When you tell a dame something stupid like that, you at least remember the conversation." Bucky said, shaking his head.

"I... I don't know, Bucky. I was stupid and I was drunk and she was looking so beautiful in the moonlight and she has always been so wonderful and it…it...it just came out!"Steve slowly sat down on the steps. "She probably thinks I am a chump*"

Bucky sat down beside his friend and patted him on the shoulder, "I am sure she doesn't."

"And why wouldn't she? Look at me, Bucks. I am nothing. I am not you, Bucky."

"Steve-"

"No, Bucks. Let's be honest. Women don't line up to dance with a bloke like me. And Toni…Toni is not a dame, she is so much more and she deserves so much more than me. She deserves someone better. Someone like you, Bucks. She deserves you."

"You are not making an sense, Steve. C'mon get up and hell with my job! We are going back and I will make you some soup and we can listen to Sinatra, okay?"

"I have seen the way you look at her, you know?" Steve said from under Bucky's arm and Bucky refused to look down. "When she is looking, you give her the same look you give all your other dames but when you know she isn't looking, you have a different look on your face. Its tender and soft and nothing I have ever seen before Toni."

"Steve…"Bucky softly warned because he didn't want to discuss his feeling for Toni or anyone. They were talking about Steve, why couldn't they talk about him again.

"Toni likes you too, you know?"Steve continued and Bucky tried but failed to be unresponsive. "She pretends to be annoyed by you but she likes to tease you and flirt with you."

And Bucky knew she liked him, and they did flirt a lot but it was different to the way she interacted with Steve. Bucky bit his tongue and said nothing of all the times Steve and Toni just looked at each other and they forgot about the world around them or how Toni always smiled at whatever Steve said and always tried to make him smile back. Maybe in another reality, they might have been something but this Toni only ever had eyes for Steve, as surprising as it was for all of them. He didn't say any of it out loud though. Maybe he was feeling a little jealous and selfish, so he decided to keep those facts to himself.

Instead he said,"So, are you giving up on her then?"

Steve looked him once and then at his own shoes, shuffling the tattered canvas, "There isn't a fight to fight. She would never go out with a guy like me."

They climbed down the stairs in silence thereafter and when they reached the lobby, Bucky stopped abruptly.

"Why don't you keep walking because I think I forgot my handkerchief at Toni's, I think. I will go get it." He told Steve and then turned back and started climbing the stairs, three steps at a time.

"Okay" Steve said resignedly and started trudging towards outside, squinting once he reached the bright morning streets if Brooklyn.

-o-

Bucky knocked on the door twice and he heard shuffling and loud cursing, "Jesus! Can't people knock more softly?!"

"What?!"She angrily opened the door but then her face softened, her angry glare smoothening. "Hey, Barnes, you forget something?"

"Umm…No. I was wondering if you wanted to go to see that movie with me tomorrow. The one you wanted to see last night?" He spoke and then added. "Steve will be coming."

He tried not to squish the jealousy and the guilt that followed at just the brightness that appeared on her face at the mention of Steve's name. Steve really had no idea what he was giving up on.

-o-

Bucky caught up with Steve by the next block and threw an arm over the other's shoulder.

"You look happy." Steve slowly asked suspiciously and Bucky tried to pull his lips down but couldn't so he just grinned more fully.

"Uh...It's nothing. Just remembered a joke that's all."

-o-

Glossary:

✪ Chump: Looser

-o-

**End Notes**:

Boooooo! Bucky, what have you done?

So, review! I don't get many reviews on this story and it would make my day to read even one! :)


	7. Strangers in the Night

Soundtrack: Strangers in the Night by Frank Sinatra

-o-

Steve was curled up in bed, under the ratty blankets. Bucky told him he looked like he was mourning but he didn't care. Afterwards, Bucky had told him he was going to the movies and he hadn't even bothered asking with whom. With a dame, undoubtedly. The thought made him groan because it made him think of Toni.

"Toni" He groaned into the pillow and threw the blanket over his head and cocooned himself. He wondered if Bucky would ever take Toni out. He had given his permission but he knew Bucky didn't really need his approval on the matter. It hurt a lot to think of them together but it was for the best. They would be good for each other. Toni deserved someone who didn't have to wheeze their way to the finish line.

Steve must have fallen asleep because when he woke up, faint yellow lights from the street lamps were peeping in through the window and Steve could tell before glancing at the table clock that is was late in the evening.

His bed creaked as he got up. He went into the small kitchen to see if they had anything to make up for dinner. After going through most of the empty cabinets, he found and settled on some porridge and pieces of rationed ham.

He was halfway through heating when he heard the scuffling of keys and twisting of the door knob. He knew it wasn't Bucky because strange as it may sound, he could recognise the shuffling foot pattern of his best friend. But if not Bucky, there weren't many other options as to who would have a key plus come in unannounced. Unless it was a thief but Steve knew no thief that came in with a key and when there was still lights on; unless he was going to be acquainted with one now.

Steve thought he heard his name but just as a precaution he treaded into the living room with some sort of offense material in his hand.

"Steve, why are you holding a pan like that?" Toni was standing looking at his him strangely. Steve let out an inhuman squawk and just gaped at her.

She looked beautiful as she always did but maybe it was the fact that he would never have or maybe it was just the blue sweater tucked under the brown skirt and belted over her natural waist that made her feminine form more eminent. He took a deep breath and turned around. He did so under the guise of returning the blackened pan to its original area. Steve didn't plan to come out of the kitchen. And, perhaps Toni read that on him because she said, "Steve, walk with me?"

He looked at her puzzled but she only picked up his jacket from the couch where it was lying and opened the front door. She stood there, under the door frame patiently waiting for him.

Steve reluctantly put on the offered jacket and once he was sure he turned off all the lights-twice, he walked alongside Toni, down the stairs and into the cool breeze of the night.

Steve didn't know what was happening or what he was supposed to say. Toni was merely walking beside him, humming a familiar tune-one he couldn't pinpoint.

They rounded off the block in silence and by the time. Toni had led them to the small park. Toni still hadn't spoken though, but she had stopped humming. It was a surprise when the first thing out of Toni's mouth was, "Steve, you are an idiot."

Before Steve could reply or respond in any manner, Toni grabbed his face and pulled it up for a kiss. He was shorter than Toni-by only an inch or two-but he had to raise himself a little on his tip toes. It was a brief kiss- just smashing of two lips but for Steve was like fire burned through his veins. His eyes were wide and some part of his functioning brain noticed Toni's eyes were open too, watching his reaction. The same functional part of his mind also noted the dots of freckles on her nose and her cheek.

Though it felt like eternity, the kiss was merely 3 seconds. Tony had let go and was watching him. Steve was still on his tiptoes and it took time for his functional part of the brain to catch up with him.

"Toni…"was the word whispered and really he had nothing to say. Or he had a million things to say and he had no idea how to say them all but all of them had one word in common and it was Toni.

Unlike himself, Toni looked calm or maybe she wasn't calm either because she looked flushed.

"But Bucky-"Steve again started, trying to force at least one though out front.

"Bucky thinks you are an idiot too, by the way." Toni told him and Steve looked back in confusion.

"Bucky?" Steve asked confusedly.

"Yes, Bucky and I talked about how much of an idiot you were and then we watched a movie." Toni explained. Steve played those words over and over in his mind. Bucky and Toni. Bucky and Toni had been on a date. He had told Bucky to date Toni. Looks like Bucky took his advice. Didn't take him that long, did it? So, is that what this was? A pity kiss? A pity kiss for poor Steve because Toni found someone bigger and better? He almost wanted to cry but he didn't want to show that this affected him. No, he wanted to be happy for his friends even though they were cruel to do this. Bucky had no doubt told Toni what a chump Steve was and now, Toni saw the pathetic boy too and this kiss was nothing but a last token what he couldn't have.

He wouldn't cry, he told himself but when he felt the prickle of tears he turned away from Toni and started to walk away.

"Steve?" Toni was calling him but he just kept walking. He couldn't do this now. He could in a day or a week but now, he couldn't face her sweet face and have his heart broken all over again.

Toni had run after him and she was beside him but he refused to look at her. "Really, Steve? I kiss you and you jut turn around and walk away?"

"I don't need any pity, Toni. All my life, all I have ever gotten is pity. I don't want pity and I don't need pity. Especially not from you, Toni." His words got steelier with each word.

"Is that what you think this is?" Tony incredulously asked. "Pity? Bucky was right, you are an idiot."

And that hurt Steve more than he ever thought it could. He gave her a sarcastic smile. "Well, I hope you had fun talking about me with him then."

Toni tried to reach out to him but he brushed her arm away. "Don't Toni. I like you. I really do but I don't know if I can still act the same knowing you and Bucky…" He shook his head. "I am happy for you guys. I just need time." He then looked at her and added softly. "Believe me I am happy for you two."

Steve turned around and started to walk away only to be pulled back by his arm and twist around to face a furious looking Toni.

"Now, you listen to me and listen to me good, Rogers!" Toni stabbed a finger to his chest and he winced. "If I have to spell this out to you, I will but here is the honest to god truth. You are an idiot!" She shouted down at his face and he winced once more. "But I also happen to be in love with that idiot and I don't know why or how but that idiot thinks he is not good enough for me and I don't know what made me so special that an idiot makes a decision like that for me!" She was glaring at him and still shouting at him, from the way her lips were still moving but honestly, he hadn't heard a word since she told him that she…loved him?

"What?"He whispered his throat dry.

"You are an idiot!" She simply whispered and kissed him.

The kiss wasn't like the previous one; it wasn't just a forceful smashing of lips. Toni's lips were pressed over his gently this time, and slowly moved over his. She pulled at his lower lips with hers and instinctually he opened his mouth. It was just lips over lips, simple motions of pull and tug. This time he found himself closing his eyes and he knew Toni's were closed as well. His arms, that were lying by his side limply, found her waist and circled them while pulling her closer. He felt her lips tug upwards in a smile and he smiled back-feeling a smile was different that seeing one. But like all of Toni's smile, this one made him warm with happiness.

Finally, they pulled apart for breath, but they remained in the embrace, their eyes were closed and their foreheads touching; neither said a word.

Steve finally opened his eyes and found Toni was smiling down at him. He opened his mouth but before he could say anything, a sharp bark interrupted them. Steve shook his head and once again opened his mouth only to be interrupted again.

Toni giggled and got out their embrace but still held onto his hand. She followed the direction of the barks and it led her to an empty park bench. Another bark cut through the silence of the night.

Steve wriggled out of the grip and bent down. He squinted through the darkness but finally made a blurry shape. Steve clicked his tongue at the blurry mass of fur.

"Come here, boy!" He extended his arm under the bench and snapped his finger. A wet tongue licked it and Steve immediately retreated it back. He looked a little shocked but then he giggled a little.

"Whats wrong?" Toni asked concerned but Steve shook his head smiling. He was focused on getting the dog from under the bench.

He aligned his head to the ground, and clicked his tongue. This time, the dog came closer and licked his nose. Steve huffed a laugh and got up. Furry paws first revealed itself and then the whole body. It was an American collie. It had no collar on from what Steve could see and Steve couldn't tell in the dark but it looked a bit like…

"You know when you said, you were going to get me a dog, I didn't really imagine you finding one that looked exactly alike under the bench like this." Toni teased and Steve saw her kneeling down as she scratched behind the dog's ear.

"I.."Steve blushed and bent down to run a hand through the dog's fur. "Do you want to name it?"

"I think I will name it after you." Toni smirked at him and he raised an eyebrow.

"Steve Jr?" he teased.

"No. I think I will call him Dummy.." Toni smirked and Steve looked mock insulted.

Toni then leaned and crooned facing the collie, "Maybe I will call you butterfingers!"

"Butterfingers? What does that mean?" Steve asked curiously.

"I don't know…but I like it!"

-o-

_Bucky was waiting in the corner by the cinema. He watched the dames pass by in their pretty skirts with their pretty face. Steve had called him doll dizzy* more than a few times. Sometimes it was affectionate and sometimes it was in an exasperated huff. Yet, none of these dames had ever made him feel the way Toni did. Toni was nothing like anyone he had ever met or ever dreamed about. In fact, before Toni came along, his dream girl was miles away from Toni or maybe his idea of his dream girl was miles away from the truth. Toni was everything he never knew he wanted and needed and yet somehow, he couldn't have._

_"Hey, Barnes! Where is Steve?" Toni's voice jarred him from his thoughts. He hadn't even seen her come. She looked beautiful; she had clearly dressed up for this. Maybe she had dressed for Steve but he took little pleasure in it anyway._

_"Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that" Bucky breathed out, he needed to do this because he wasn't a nice guy. Not like Steve._

_"He is not coming, is he?" Toni looked him in the eye. She folded her arms against her chest, face hardening._

_"I like you, Toni. I like you a lot." Bucky blurted.._

_"Bucky, I don't think-" Her face softened little._

_"No, listen to me. I like you but Steve loves you. I like you because you are a pretty dame but Steve never cared for what was on the outside, he loves you for you"_

_Toni watched his face and Bucky couldn't tell what she was thinking. She didn't say anything so he added, "But he doesn't think he deserves you"_

_"Well, that's bullshit."_

_"He is sorta an idiot." Bucky joked and she huffed a laugh._

_"that he is."Toni smiled, and this was the fond smile that was on her face when she talked to Steve or talked about him. He couldn't compete with that. Never in his life, had a dame chosen Steve over him, never had anyone even glanced at the thin, sickly blonde boy when Bucky was standing there. But Toni had. Toni had picked Steve over him over and over again and maybe she would continue to do so. Maybe that is what Steve needed and maybe, one day he would glance back and think about hat moment he was head over heels about a dame who was clearly head over heels about his best pal._

_"Bucky? Barnes?"Toni was calling his name and he looked at her goofily until he realised what was happening._

_" ..I guess, I will be going then." Bucky sighed as he tried to turn away._

_"You going away after asking me for a movie? You want me to watch it alone?" Toni pouted. And Bucky huffed out a reluctant laugh._

_"But it won't be more than a movie though." Bucky asked, knowing the answer but he smiled, albeit a little sadly._

_"No, it won't. But you are still my friend, Bucky."Toni smiled sincerely at him. "And I don't want to lose that."_

_ And, that was Toni and he could never say no to her._

-o-

Glossary:

✪ Doll dizzy: Girl crazy

-o-

End Notes: I like Bucky, I really do and I feel so bad for him :(

Please review :)


	8. That Lucky old Sun

**Author's Note: **

I love Bucky. I simply do. And I was having too many Bucky feels as I wrote this.

Also, I get a lot of questions about whether Steve will join the army and get the serum etc, I think this chapter should answer the first question and as for the latter, yes. Yes, he will :)

In fact, I am happy but also extremely sad to tell you that Skinny!Steve probably wont be around much longer :(

-o-

"Steve, I am telling you for the last time, you shouldn't be doing this." Bucky looked him straight in the eye and told him.

"Bucky, you know we talked about this long ago. You were joining the army and so was I." Steve replied.

"Steve, that was before. Now, you have Toni, Steve! You can have a family." Bucky added awkwardly, looking away. "Be happy here, not be fighting a war where you can most likely die any minute. Have kids, grand kids, hell! You already have a dog." Bucky gave him a weak smile.

Ever since Steve and Toni had gotten together, things had been relatively awkward between the two friends. Neither would say it but the flow and pace of their conversations or interaction had been off. In fact, the only conversations they had had over the days were about the rent and ration. They were ignoring the white elephant in the room. But Bucky had started even stranger the past few days.

In fact, this was the longest conversation they had had in days. So, what if it was about the war? The posters asking men to enlist were everywhere and alongside, people were being drafted. They needed men in this war and they needed them fast.

"We are supposed to join the army together and win the war, Bucks."Steve slowly edged towards his friend. Bucky looked at his hands and sighed deeply.

"We were but we are not now." Bucky said. He got up from the chair and headed to the window.

Bucky looked at him and his entire demeanor changed. "Look, this war isn't for someone like you."

"Someone like me?"Steve repeated-the words hollow.

"You know what I am talking about, Steve." Bucky sneered. "You can't fight. You can probably hardly lift the gun! So, leave this…this war to those who can, okay?"

Steve's face turned from surprise to hurt to anger and then something strange. "Bucky, did you enlist?"

"And what if I did?" Bucky arrogantly.

"We were supposed to-"

"Well, fuck you. You can't have everything you want, Steve!" Bucky shouted back. Steve looked shocked then his face turned cold. He then turned around and walked out of the room. Bucky heard the sound of the front door opening and slamming shut. Bucky winced.

He walked to his bed and bent over to pull the small metal box from underneath. He opened it and pulled out the letter on top. He stared it, re-reading the words over and over again. By the 3rd time he read it, his eyes had gotten blurry and he couldn't through it the fourth time. He put the letter back in and placed it down. In a fit of rage, he kicked the box, its contents flying everywhere.

Watching the mess, he sobbed. He curled in his bed and cried himself to sleep.

-o-

"You got drafted." Were the first words Bucky heard when he felt himself wake up. His joints felt stiff and he felt cold. Then the words registered and he turned around to face the voice and Toni was sitting by his foot, with a piece of paper in her hand.

"They rejected your plea for _conscientious objector status_*." Toni didn't look up from the piece of paper. "Why didn't you tell me or Steve?"

Bucky didn't say a word.

"I am fighting in this war, whether I want it or not, Toni." He snorted, smiling bitterly. "What does it matter?"

"Why did you say Steve you enlisted then?" Toni spoke softly, as she folded his conscription notice.

"I don't want him to think I was a coward. I would rather him think I enlisted behind his back than him know I was drafted without any choice in the matter. It's Steve. Steve with the asthma, the scarlet fever, he has chronic colds, he can't run a block without panting for breath, he has diseases I can't even pronounce and yet he wants to fight in the war."

Bucky looked at her with so much sincerity, it broke her heart. "I don't want to fight, Toni. Does that make me a coward?"

"No, that makes you smart." Toni joked but took his hands and rubbed it as a sign of comforting.

"You saying Steve isn't smart?" Bucky joked back, a little distracted by Toni's hands. They weren't smooth as other dames'. They were a little rough and he could feel the little ridges where cuts had healed. They were so inexplicably Toni, he wanted to tug her hand and pull her closer but he didn't.

"No, I am saying he is brave. Braver than you or me. I think he is braver than anyone I have ever met. And in my opinion, only 2 people fight in wars, the brave or the foolish." Toni explained.

"maybe you should make that 3 kinds-those with no choice."Bucky bitterly added and this time Toni pulled him closer, his head rested on her shoulder and she continued to rub his hand with her thumb. It was comforting, the patter and the warmth.

"those with no choice can choose to be brave or foolish too." Toni told him and he didn't have anything to say.

"I don't want to die, Toni." He choked out and he hadn't even realised he was close to tears until Toni rubbed his back and he clutching onto her shirt and cried onto her shoulder. "I want to be here taking care of Steve and you. I want take care of you two and grow old with you. I don't want to fight no war. "

"You will not die, Barnes."Toni told him, running her fingers through his hair, then teased, knocking her shoulder a little. "You are far too stubborn."

Bucky snorted and lifted his head to give her a wet smile.

"Will you wait for me, Toni?"Bucky asked hoarsely but thinking about how that sounded he quickly added. "You and Steve are the only family so will you be here?"

"We will." Toni smiled at him and for a moment he just stared. He couldn't help but wonder if Toni were his; would he be kissing her right now? He really wanted to. He smiled sadly at her and extracted himself from her embrace.

"Wait here." He told her and walked around the room. The items from his box were scattered everywhere. There wasn't many items there. A few trinkets, a few photographs but most importantly there was a ring. His mother's ring.

He found it lying against the foot of the chair. It was a thin gold ring with a small, round diamond-nothing noteworthy. But to him, it was the most valuable thing he owned. And not because of its monetary value. It was his mother's engagement ring. It was the only piece of his mother he had. He didn't even remember her, but this ring made her real.

He turned around, the ring snugly nestled inside his palm. He walked up to her and bent down on his knees. He placed a hand on Toni's knee and then planted his head down. He surveyed the room once from his new vantage point. Toni was stroking his hair, it made him lazily crawl further into her lap.

"I don't expect to make it from the war when I go."Bucky confessed. He felt the hand in his hair stop stroking but as she wanted him to continue, she resumed to thread her fingers through his hair. "But if I do…"He grabbed the hand in his hair and transferred the ring in there. "promise me you will keep this safe."

"Bucky-"

"Don't say it, Toni."Bucky told her, as he turned his head and looked up. She was looking down at him and with her brown hair framing her face, he could feel her as his angel. "Just this once, don't say anything, please. I just want you to keep this ring. It was my mother's engagement ring. It's the only thing I have of her. I trust you with this. Keep this ring safe for me and I will be back for this ring."

Toni didn't say anything for a long moment and the hand he held was loose but then gripped tight. "Then James Buchanan Barnes, you better be back for this ring."

-o-

"Steve?" Bucky called out when he heard the front door open. Toni had gone back to her apartment and she had sworn she would kick Steve back here if she had to. But he had been waiting for hours and Steve hadn't come back. But now, he heard the unlocking of the door,

"What? Want to tell me more about how I can't join the army?"Steve said and Bucky winced. But he had been prepared for this.

"Actually, about that…what do you say we go down the Goldie's Boxing Gym tomorrow and see if we can throw a little punches" Bucky offered and Steve looked at him in surprise.

"But they already recruited you so why…?"Steve asked confused.

"You think I am going to fight the Nazis without my best friend?" Bucky smirked. Steve looked away and for a moment Bucky thought he had lost the friend he always cherished but then Steve turned and he smiled. And, he knew not all was forgiven but it was getting better. For both of them.

-o-

**Glossary**:

✪** Conscription Notice**: "Conscription", commonly known as the draft. During wartime, the government has the rights to draft you, which means making you join the military for a set period of time whether you like it or not. It's illegal not to show up when you're drafted.

✪ **Conscientious Objector Status**: During World War II, men were being involuntarily drafted into the war. Like Bucky, there were many who didn't wish to join the army (for whatever purpose) so they would apply for conscientious objector status and if accepted, they didn't have to join the army. These were granted to very few, and most were rejected.

-o-

End Notes:

I am sorry but all my knowledge about the American military system came from the internet so it can be a bit rusty but whatever it is, I am happy with it :)

I hope everything is clear to everyone. If there is anything that you don't understand, I will be more than happy to explain.  
And just to further clarify, according to my head canon, Bucky never wanted to join the war, instead he was forced to but he doesn't tell Steve so because he doesn't want Steve to be disappointed in him. So, he pretends to have enlisted /  
And, I am in no way trying to portray Bucky as weak or cowardly. I am just showing how he has no choice in the matter like many men didn't have a choice back then. Not everybody wanted to fight.

So, what did you think? Please review :) I absolutely love to hear what you think and your ideas for the future :)


	9. God bless the child

**Author's Note:** I am sorry I couldn't write this for a couple of days. Everything has been making anxious and I was not really having the best nights or free times to get into the best mindset to write this and part of this chapter was written as I tried to get my hysterical crying down while listening to The Beatles since I find writing therapeutic. This chapter might be weird…or not because I am trying for a semblance of normalcy. I hope you enjoy because really, all I want now is for you to be happy. I just want everyone to be happy. Is that so much to ask for?

-o-

Over the next two weeks Bucky trained Steve at Goldie's Boxing Gym. They together visited US Recruiting and Induction Centre in New York City but Steve was classified as 4F and rejected from service.

"Look man, it's not such a big deal." Bucky tried to half heartedly console then as they exited the building. Bucky was relieved they didn't pick Steve but he also felt for Steve who looked crushed. He didn't want his weak friend fighting the war. He wanted what was best and maybe Steve didn't see it, but the best thing was right here with him in the form of Toni. He was divided in his feeling and he couldn't help guilty.

"I will try again." Steve said determinedly, ignoring Bucky's inner monologue and Bucky sighed. Steve was stubborn if anything.

-o-

"Another 4F?" Bucky asked immediately as Steve stormed inside and threw down the scrap of paper he held in his hand. "How many times is this Steve? 5? C'mon!"

Bucky who was sprawled over on the couch lazily, got up to picked it up and read it out loud, "You from Paramus now?" He saw Steve twist his face. "You know it's illegal to lie on the enlistment form."

Steve pretended not to hear him and shrugged his jacket off.

"And seriously, Jersey?" Bucky scoffed.

Steve didn't say a word but he noticed the neatly ironed uniform lying on the bed.

"You got your orders?" Steve asked, trying to quell the slight envy at the green uniform.

"The 107th. Shipping out to England first thing tomorrow." Bucky stated and watched his friend for a reaction.

Steve took a deep breath and shook his head. "I should be going."

Bucky didn't want to have this talk and he didn't want to have it now. So, he slapped on a big smile and hugged his friend. "C'mon man! My last night! Get cleaned up!"

"Why? Where are we going?" Steve looked at him sceptically.

"The future!"

-o-

Fireworks were exploding over head, colouring the sky with myriad of colours. Men in suits, ladies in pretty dresses all were gathered to watch the spectacle that was the Stark Expo. It was truly like they had stepped into the future.

"I don't see what the problem is. You're about to be the last eligible man in New York and even with Toni, you will be fighting the ladies with a stick" Bucky was saying as they walked down the steps. He then thoughtfully added. "Now that I think about it, Toni would probably beat them off with a stick."

Steve huffed but blushed at the same time. They had gotten comfortable talking to each other once more. Steve was happy and relieved that they were once again friends, once again brothers. Bucky now frequently teased him about Toni and to Bucky's satisfaction, Steve would always blush cherry red. Bucky, on most days he could handle like he always had, but the situation would be uncontrollable when Toni was around and she would join in. She could be in cahoots with Bucky, like it was their personal mission to see how red they could get him. And between Bucky and Toni, they could get him blubbering in no time. The three of them had caught their thread of friendship and despite the war looming and Bucky's leaving looming over their heads; they pretended things were okay whenever they could. But it was war and pretending could only get them so far.

"I just want Toni and that's all." Steve said sincerely and Bucky hummed in satisfaction.

"Good thing I took care of that then." Bucky winked at him as they parted through the crowd and saw Toni standing by the water fountains, trying to catch popcorn midair with her mouth. She threw a kernel high up and opened the mouth as her eyes followed the trajectory. 4 out of 5 times, she caught it in her mouth. Steve couldn't help but smile at her antics.

He didn't even realise it when he subconsciously adjusted his hair parting and stood a little straighter than before. But Bucky did and he laughed a little and teasingly nudged him.

Neither of them even noticed that she was not alone until they reached her and Toni stopped in her popcorn show to pull the girl beside her and introduced her.

"Bucky, meet Connie. Connie meet Bucky." Toni said, waggling her eyebrows at them both. She then turned to Steve and waggled her eyebrows at him. "Well, don't you look dapper. Did you do something with the hair?" She started to run her fingers through his hair and Steve blushed but tried to cover it up with a cough. He tried to maintain a straight face but from the pursed lips of amusement from Bucky, he appeared to be unsuccessful. He coughed into his hands a couple of times. "Uhh…"

"You are too adorable, Rogers!" Toni announced and kissed him on the nose. By now, Steve was bright red. She grabbed his hand. "C'mon lets go. I haven't been to these for years!"

Just then, the announcement for Howard Stark's presentation blared through the speakers and Connie-the cute brunette with a button nose-led out a loud squeal.

"It's starting!" She screamed and tugged at Bucky's arm. Steve shrugged and Bucky grinned. However, Toni looked reluctant.

"Umm…sure" Toni said and Steve could pick up the hesitance. That was strange but he didn't want to make her uncomfortable by asking why.

"Okay!" Bucky's date chirped without much as a glance back at Toni as she started to tug at Bucky's sleeve with a smile. "C'mon big boy! It's that way!" Connie started to drag him away but now before Bucky managed to turn around and mouth a thank you back to Toni. Toni smiled and gave him big thumbs up.

"She seems nice…"Steve didn't know what to say so he settled on that.

Toni smiled beside him and looped her arm through Steve's before following the new couple. "I wasn't sure if you were coming. I mean Bucky said he would make sure you would, but I wasn't sure."

"Because you knew I would get rejected for the 5th time?" Steve didn't mean to sound so defeated but he did. Toni squeezed his arm in comfort. Toni lowered her head to his shoulder and whispered, "I will be honest, Steve. Part of me wants you to not leave and stay with me but a larger part of me knows how important this is to you and I will be behind you no matter what-no matter how many times they fail to see what they need." She used her free hand to run through his collar and pat off imaginary dust before resting her head on his shoulder. "Remember, I fell in love with the Steve Rogers who stood up to the bully twice his size and he wasn't a soldier. He was just a good man."

Steve took a deep breath. He took in what Toni had said; her admission of her faith and love in him never ceased to overwhelm him and even now he could feel himself swell with unknown feelings. He closed his eyes and laid his head over her and for a moment it was only them. Two beings entwined as one by the thread of destiny. His mind drifted to Bucky's words. He could have a family here with Toni. He could have kids who would have Toni's eyes and her tenacious personality. For a moment he dreamed of children with brown eyes and blonde hair and for a moment, he was content.

But then like a shock to the system, he was jarred out of his reverie when the thunderous claps erupted from the audience.

Steve opened his eyes and saw the green of Bucky's uniform before him and Uncle Sam pointing at him from the posters .Flashes of news articles and static radio voices appeared in the forefront of his mind-the news about the brutal war, about soldiers laying down their lives fighting for people like him to live a normal, safer lives and he couldn't dream of the blonde children with the brown eyes anymore.

He extracted himself from Toni's arm and with a hastened apology disappeared into the throng of the crowd. He was sure he heard Toni call out to him but the cacophony of sounds from people around him and the boom of the mike drowned any voice that wasn't Howard Stark.

-o-

Bucky was watching fascinated at the sight before him. The car was hovering in air like…magic and even when it fell; he still couldn't stop staring in awe at the man before him. The man was a genius but when he took the failure in jest and laughed along with the audience, Bucky understood what made Howard so appealing to the ladies. He felt the tugging at his arm where Connie was enthusiastically commenting about the hover car when he heard Tony's voice. Even in the crowd, it was as distinct as the thud of his own heartbeat in the silence. He swerved his head to find Tony's back turned to him and Tony alone. Steve wasn't beside her like he should have been and that thought brought an irrational annoyance for his friend. He had already left her alone even when he didn't have to.

Bucky turned to politely ask Connie to let go of his arm, who seemed to have not noticed the commotion. She was looking at the stage, with an open mouthed fascination. "Wow, Bucky! Look Howard Stark is looking here."

Bucky didn't make any sense of the words as why would Howard Stark be looking at them but on momentary glance he saw the inventor was indeed looking towards their direction, eyes squinted with faint recognition and confusion. Bucky didn't dwell on it. Instead, he politely told Connie there might be a situation he had to attend to. Connie didn't look too happy at the suggestion but asked to come with him nonetheless.

-o-

Bucky left Connie with Toni who went to search for Steve on the other side of the Stark Expo after he told him they could cover more ground that way. Connie seemed to have believed him easily but Toni had looked back sceptically but agreed nonetheless. Bucky thought he had an inkling where Steve had disappeared to and he was right. It took Bucky only a couple minutes to find Steve. Though that could be chalked up to the fact he knew how much of a stubborn idiot Steve could be. The army recruitment area wasn't swarming but it had a few soldiers and patrons walking its halls. He noticed Steve's tiny frame as soon as he had entered the hall.

"You are really going to do this again?" Bucky asked and Steve who hadn't noticed him turned around suddenly.

"Well, it's fair. I am gonna try my luck." Steve answered.

"As who? Steve from Ohio? They' catch you or worse, they'll actually take you." Bucky couldn't help but let worry seep in amongst all the righteous anger he felt at his friend.

"I thought we were over this."Steve looked at him sharply and for someone who was a head shorter the look still served as a little intimidating but Bucky was feeling a little more furious than he let on.

"No, I am not. You tried 5 times already, Steve. Maybe someone somewhere is trying to say something." Bucky tried once more, this time a little more calmly.

"Look I know you think I can't do this."

"This isn't a back alley, Steve. It's war."

"I know its war." Steve spluttered. What did Bucky think? That he didn't realise the different.

"Why are you so keen to fight? There are so many important jobs." Bucky furiously whispered.

"What do you want me to do? Collect scrap metal in my little red wagon?" Steve dead panned. He resisted rolling his eyes.

"Yes!" Bucky emphasised. "Why not?"

"I'm not gonna sit in a factory, Bucky." Ton anyone else it would have sounded like a whine but they both knew it was just the truth.

"I don't-"

"Bucky, Bucky. Come on…" Steve stood a little taller and looked his friend in the eye and honestly said. "There are men laying down their lives. I got no right to do any less than them. That's what you don't understand. This isn't about me"

Bucky snorted. "Right, cause you got nothing to prove."

They continued to look at each other. Neither said anything. Bucky finally sighed as he gave into the intense hopeful look Steve was sprouting. Bucky half turned around but then turned back to face him.

"Don't do anything stupid until I get back." Bucky warned.

"How can I? You are taking all the stupid with you" Steve teased. Bucky finally cracked a smile

."You are a punk." Bucky said affectionately and hugged his friend. His tiny friend who was so much stronger than he ever could be. He wanted to hold his friend and never let go. But he had to just as he had to let Steve do this for himself.

"Punk" Steve retorted playfully, unaware of Bucky's inner dialogue.

"Take care." Bucky added and turned around to walk away.

"Don't win the war till I get there."Steve shouted at the retreating back and Bucky gave him one final grin before disappearing into the crowd.

-o-

Bucky found Connie waiting for him by main pavilion but Toni appeared to be nowhere in sight. He looked around but couldn't spot her. Connie on the other hand seemed to be almost jumping in her skin with excitement.

"Bucky, you will not believe this!" Her eyes were round and her cheeks tainted red. "Guess who just came to talk to Toni!?" She almost screamed the question and deciding to play along asked "Who?"

"HOWARD STARK!"

-o-

**End Notes: **

I am posting this chapter late at night and my eyes feel droopy and I can't stand to read through this for the 5th time so please forgive any errors. But do review :)


	10. The Gypsy

**Author's Note:**

Hey! So, yes, I know this chapter is long overdue but life you know? Anyways, I am happy with it and I hope you like it too!

Oh before I forget, I just wanted to say thank you guys for your wonderfully reviews and feedbacks because it does mean a great deal to me when you take a little time to let me know your thoughts. Thank you so much! And, I am happy that you are happy with my portrayal of fem!Tony and Bucky and Steve.

Lastly, I will say it now, since I have been asked this a few times now but this story is Steve/Tony but I love Bucky/Tony so much that will probably be around as well….Who knows? I certainly don't. And I am writing this thing!

Soundtrack: The Ink Spots - The Gypsy

* * *

"C'mon. This is not a joke." Howard Stark, who stood holding the lapels of his three piece blue pin striped suit, huffed out. "Yeah, it's not. But you know what is? That hover car you just modelled." Toni lazily smirked, observing her nails.

"Toni, I am being serious." Howard did not look amused.

"And I am being serious too."She still wasn't being serious. She smiled cheekily at him and added. "I could tell that your calculations were way off from where I was standing."

"Yeah, I assumed so." Howard sighed rubbing his face. "The magnetic propulsion equation did look a bit off".

"Magnetic propulsion?"Toni scoffed. "Are you kidding?! There is no way that could overcome the-"

"In a converging dual processor, with given input, maybe it can." Howard interrupted smugly and Toni scowled.

"Do you even have power source to double the e values?"Toni asked, rolling her eyes as she waited smugly for the negative answer. Howard opened his mouth only to be interrupted by the loud fireworks going out in the sky, colouring the dark sky in multitude of hues. It snapped something back to Howard and shook his head. He blinked several times before getting his bearing. "I know what you are doing and stop it!"

"Uh...trying to point out all the flaws in your invention?" Toni tried playing it off nonchalantly.

"I know you are trying to change topics. Enough. Come home."Howard sternly added and his demeanor from before changing into something more firm.

Toni clenched her jaw but said nothing at first but instead gave a short smile, "Really Howie, it was fun talking to you. But I think I will be going now." She turned around with a small wave of her hands but Howard caught her wrist.

"Toni" He tried a softer voice, a placating voice. He still couldn't make her turn around so he stepped in front of her. "Please come back home."

"I knew I shouldn't have come here today." Toni mumbled, watching the diminishing glow of the fireworks. Slowly, it fizzled out and the sky was dark and lonely once more.

"You did because deep down, you love me." Howard joked.

Toni snorted. "Right."

"I had flat foots* looking for you everywhere in the city. And you were here, in Brooklyn." Howard added offhandedly.

"And I like it here." Toni, too offhandedly insisted.

"Why won't you come back?" Howard tried again; this time earnestly. Toni snorted once more and she wondered at this rate, she would probably turn into a pig.

"Seriously? Are you actually wondering why I left that danged mockery of a house? Because if you are then I don't think I want to talk to you right now." Toni's voice was incredulous, angry and a little bit hurt.

"We never talk anymore, Toni." Howard softly said, his voice resigned. A sad smile bloomed on his face. "Remember when we were kids, you could hardly shut up and now you don't even-"

"And whose fault is that?!"Toni shot back immediately not letting Howard guilt her onto anything. "You grew up and I was no more than dirt to you. Then you the military recruited you and you may as well have been the golden child to father-"

"That's not true!"Howard immediately denied.

"Why the whole act of actually caring for me and looking for me when you very well know it wouldn't make a difference?" Toni yelled back. "I have nothing to say to you!"

"Toni, okay. I am sorry for what I did wrong. I don't know what it was but I am sorry. Let's forget everything. A clean slate-" Howard attempted to placate the furious woman standing before him.

"You can't be serious." She looked at him disbelievingly.

"I think you are overreacting.""You know what? I am the one who got disowned because I happened to born female and didn't want to marry some sleazebag and you think I am overreacting?!"

Toni vehemently shouted and turned around once more but Howard caught her arm and twisted her around forcefully.

"Let me go."She gritted through her teeth.

"Disowned?" Howard slowly asked ignoring the thrashing body he was holding on to. "Father…never said anything about that. About disowning."

"Right, so you want me to believe you had no idea what was happening the past THREE years?"Toni scoffed and Howard looked miserable. "Father said you were just being rebellious and you would come around-"

"WELL, THAT MAN GO SUCK HIS OWN COCK!" Toni shouted and even in the empty space where they stood, behind the tent, her voice carried miles. It burned with her anger, her voice, and her eyes. Howard was taken aback and taking the opportunity, Toni shoved him off and walked off and disappeared into the crowd.

And, no one noticed Bucky slink away from the shadows and go after Toni in shock.

* * *

Bucky thought he had been stealthily following Toni and he was doing a good job at it since she hadn't even turned back once; he was wrong. He had followed her till a dark alley where she had turned to but when he had turned there she was nowhere to be found only to be scared out of his wits when he felt someone shove him against the wall.

"So, now that you have followed me all the way here what do you want?"Toni's voice was monotonous; it made Bucky wince.

"I was just-"Bucky tried to turn around to face her but Toni pushed him back against the wall. "You know what? Forget it" Toni sighed. She eased up on his back and with the pressure gone, Bucky turned around, facing her. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough?"Bucky shrugged. He tried to be casual about it but Toni snorted at his attempt at nonchalance. "Okay, so I am a little confused and a little more curious but I don't think this is the right time…"Bucky honestly and hurriedly said. Toni rubbed her face distressfully in response.

"You are leaving in less than 7 hours. Spit out whatever dish you want to know." Toni folded her arms and leaned against the wall. Bucky copied her stance and faced her.

"So…Howard Stark?"Bucky didn't even know where to begin.

Toni snorted in brief amusement. "What about my brother?"

"Your brother?!" Bucky spluttered, face scrunched up disbelievingly. "Yes…"Toni slowly began, looking at him curiously, amusement back on her face. "What did you think we were?"

"Not siblings for one." He muttered under his breath but outwardly shrugged and in an audible voice said, "Never mind."

"No no no. Go on...What did you think?" Toni was fully smirking now, enjoying the look of embarrassment.

"This is embarrassing, Toni. I don't want to know anything!" Bucky pouted, folding his arms defensively.

"Alright alright."Tony conceded and her smile slowly vanished into a grim line. "I may have lied a little to you and Steve and everyone here, basically."

"I will hear everything you have to say before I say anything, Toni." Bucky said, trying to smile at her but from the heartbreaking smile she gave him, he just couldn't.

"I told you I was adopted by Jarvis? That he was my father?" Toni asked rhetorically but Bucky nodded nonetheless. "Jarvis was our butler growing up and he may as well have been our father because he took care of me; I saw him around more than my real father. My father, the illustrious Howard Stark Senior framed him for a petty theft of mother's old jewellery and fired him all the while he mercifully didn't report it to the police."

Toni took a small pause to snort in dry amusement. "That was 10 years ago. I haven't seen him since then. I heard he was in Manhattan but I couldn't find him…I wasn't sure if I wanted to. I wasn't sure if he would want to see me. In my mind, he does and I can be happy living with that thought but what if I walk up to his door and he slams it on my face? What if he is angry at me for ruining his life? What if he hates me? I couldn't face him. I would rather face the thought of him."

"I am sure there is no reason for him to hate you."Bucky interjected but Toni shook her head.

"I know. I know I know. But sometimes it's safer living with a reality you created inside your head. Living inside your head is safer; sometimes you even forget you have a body. But I did recently write him a letter and he is doing well." Toni stated calmly turning her head upwards and looking at the sky.

Bucky didn't say anything so she continued, "After Jarvis, there were so many caretakers I even lost count. My mother died giving birth to me, so that part was true. But father more or less ignored me for Howie, I suppose. Howard and I were close as much as two siblings can be. But of course, Howard got to go to the University and then the military happened. All the while, I was prepped like pork. I was supposed to marry one of uncle Stane's boys."

At the confused look on Bucky's face. "Obadiah Stane, father's friend and partner in the business. I said no, and father snapped his cap.*"

"I think the fact, I pretty much did it right in front of that lecherous chrome dome* Obadiah was the straw that broke the camel's back." Toni laughed a little, remembering the livid colour on everyone's faces that day. Her father had practically been purple as he continued to shout at her without a spare of breath.

"Ah, to be honest, I the fact I got disowned from the Stark fortune didn't even sink in till I had no lettuce* as I was wondering the streets of New York. I can moan and groan about what an ass my old man was, but I always had pennies from heaven* growing up. So, it was rough. And the streets aren't kind to a woman. Of course, I had to slug* in a few teeth before they got the message. I was angry; I was lashing out and bounced around homeless shelters before I met Yinsen who saved me from myself. That's a long story, maybe when you get back I will tell ya." Tony nodded and Bucky didn't argue because he was sure there was so much Toni was keeping from him and she had every right to.

"But, the end thing is, I finally thought the city wasn't for me so I moved here. It's been a quiet existence, far from what I am used to but could have been worse. I was so sure at one point that I would have to become a call girl." Toni told him so matter of factly that Bucky wasn't sure if she was joking or not. But, he was sure of one thing and that he wanted to punch the son of a bitch who called himself her father.

However, hearing it, he also had to ask, "So, how does your brother fit into all this?"

"My what?"

"Howard Stark? How does he fit into it?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, you are clearly mad at him and I understand why but the man looked as surprised as I was when you told him some things…so I don't know…but maybe you should talk to him. Maybe he is telling the truth. Do you think he knew about you being disowned?"Bucky curiously asked.

"I don't know what to believe. He is the smartest man I know, well after me of course." She sadly joked. "Three years and not a letter. Three years and no phone calls, Three years and he didn't wonder what the fuck happened to his sister?!"

"He did say he had dicks* looking for you, right?"

"And he is Howard Stark. I think he would have found me if he had." Toni argued back immediately "But your father is Howard Stark senior…Are you sure he didn't have anything to do with it?" Bucky countered.

"Well, he is a slimy old geezer." Toni shrugged. Bucky had a point, Even if Howard was looking for her, if father didn't want her to be found, she wouldn't be found. And if father really had not told the complete truth to him, there were chances; Howard was as clueless as he claimed to be on matters. "Howie will be here for a night more…I could…talk to him…"

"Sounds like a plan! Let's talk to Howard Stark!"Bucky suggested, grinning and Toni rolled her eyes.

"You Bucky are going back to your date."

"What?"

"Connie? Remember?"

Bucky sheepishly smiled back and started rubbing the back of his head. "I should be going back. You will be good on your own?"

"Yeah, yeah, go. Show her a good time." Toni mimed shooing motion with her hands; Bucky laughed and started to walk away. "I will see you later, Bucky." She called out.

"I will miss you, Toni."Bucky turned around, trading backwards slowly. He added. "You and Steve…be good. Don't have a wedding till I get there." Toni chuckled, "Scram off, soldier."

Bucky chuckled back, then his eyes grew serious and he stopped treading.

"Bye, Toni." He earnestly whispered but in the silence of the night she heard him as if he was shouting the words. "Bye, James." She replied, tilting her head in acknowledgement. Then he fully turned and walked off.

* * *

"Basically, dad lied and I am idiot for believing him. Jesus Christ! I am an idiot."Howard blew a lungful of air as he slumped down on the chair. When he didn't get a response he turned to Toni who had begun to fiddle with a socket. "Toni, I think this is the part where you say, 'no, you're not, Howard.'…"  
Toni looked up unimpressed. "And why would I do that? You are an idiot."

Howard chuckled dryly then groaned, stretching in the chair. He looked at her and seriously added. "Come with me."

Toni spluttered a hysterical laugh. "After everything I told you, you want me to go back there."

Howard shook his head, a faint smile blooming on his face, "I said come with me, I didn't say come home. The military could definitely use someone like you. Your intelligence is only second to me, after all."

"Ha Ha." Toni deadpanned, rolling her eyes. Her face changed and it turned serious. "Thank you, Howie but I can't."

"Is there a why or is it a…who?"Howards asked perceptively.

Toni tried but failed to hide a small smile. "There might be."

"I can't change your mind then?"

"I don't think even Steve can." Toni snorted.

"Ah, so there is a name."Howard said, eyes twinkling in happiness for his little sister. "Do I get to meet the man who has made my sister's brain turn mush?" Toni scoffed and rolled her eyes. "Maybe…someday."

"MISTER HOWARD!"Someone suddenly called out from outside and they shared a look. "Must be reporters. Can't get enough of me." Howard joked as he fixed the coat lapels.

"Whatever chump" Toni rolled her eyes. And turned to the exit door in the back. "It's also my cue to leave."

"Offer still stands."Howard called out to her but she had already left.

* * *

When Toni unlocked her apartment, she felt the presence of someone else immediately. She would have been on immediate alert but the presence didn't feel threatening, it was strange; but no so much when she found Steve curled up and on her bed clutching a folder. From the fact Steve was still wearing his jacket and shoes, she assumed he had probably fallen asleep waiting for her.

Inspecting the bedside clock, it was 2 am. She stood by the bedside, contemplating whether to wake him up but after watching the soothing rise and fall of his chest and the peaceful expression on his face, she decided to let him have the deserved nap. She knew all the hard work he was doing with Bucky after all.

However, she had to make him more comfortable, so without disturbing him too much, she extracted the file from his hand and placed it down on the bedside table. She slightly rolled him over and removed his jacket and pulled off his ratty shoes and socks. She unbuckled his belt and slid it slowly out of its loops. Placing a kiss on his forehead, she pulled the comforter over his prone body and turned the lampshade off.

After a quick session of washing her face and changing into a pair of flannel shirt and ratty cotton trouser, she too scooted in beside him under the comforter. Her larger body spooned his smaller body; her arm was thrown over his waist and her hand rested over his chest. She quickly fell asleep to the feeling of the rhythmic beating of his heart.

* * *

**Glossary:**  
✪ Flat foots: Policemen or detectives.

✪ Snapped his cap: get angry

✪Chrome-dome – word for a bald headed man

✪ Pennies from heaven: easy money

✪ Lettuce-money

✪ Slug: punch

✪ Call girl: prostitute

✪ Dicks: detectives

* * *

**End Note**:  
I finally got around watching Winter Soldier and oomygosh it was so good! So many Bucky feeeeels! I think it may be a little premature to say this but I think this story should have 6-7 chapters more. And, again premature but this might turn into a series…  
And lastly, please review! I love reviews!


	11. Paper Doll

**Author's note:**

*nervous laughter* umm….so how long has it been? Uhh….kiragirl17 updated her story twice already and she usually takes a month to publish those perfect chapters (I will savour and read them tonight!) Wow, so its really been a loooong time,eh? ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ *nervous laughter*

But life is quite hectic right about now. (this is the part where I give my excuses for not updating sooner so you can skip it if you want!) SOOOO, basically my entrance test for MBBS is gonna be in a month time and I have already lost a year so I really can't afford to not get to a medical college on first try. Plus, financially, over the matter of med school, I am feeling sick because the tuition fees as they are so expensive but I know I have 0% chance of getting the scholarship so its getting me more frustrated. Furthermore, I am not at all prepared. I have been solving past question papers and I am hardly getting 40 out of 100 and out of those 20 of them were guess choices, so its quite frustrating. Some days I just kick my feet up and say 'fuck it' (╹◡╹)凸

Basically, that's it! I am sorry for the delay. I actually had 90% of this chapter done so I thought I should publish it! Next chapter will probably take a while. And, I really wanted to say this because I don't want to be gone without a notice. Consider it a hiatus of sorts. I need sort my priorities, right? (◡‿◡✿)

But, I always do find some time to write this crazy story for all you crazy people…but mostly me, even if its just a paragraph or a scene I build in my head. I am in love with my own story. Does that make me narcissistic? (・∀・ )

Anyways, this chapter was not originally there when I planned out the chapters but it made its way while writing someway so it may appear as more of a filler chapter. It kind of is…

And, thank you so so so much for all the wonderful reviews because reading them always makes me happy! (✿◕‿◕)

Speaking of happy, someone on tumblr has offered to make a fanart off this story, so I am SUPER excited for that. So, if anybody else wants to make a drawing, please go ahead and make my day(or week! Or month! or year!or life?) (≧ω≦)

* * *

When Steve woke up, it took him a moment to get his bearing. He blinked his eyes at the thin film of sunlight streaking through the blinds. This was Toni's apartment. It took him another moment to realize he was not alone in bed.

Toni was fast asleep, sprawled on her back, sheets kicked back, and snoring lightly beside him. Sunlight played over her, basking her skin in an ethereal glow. She looked so beautiful. Her tanned skin looked golden under the sunlight and the small smattering of freckles on her nose, stood against eh tanned skin. He wasn't ashamed to tell that he may have all of them memorized. Her lashes created a shadow over her cheekbones and he resisted an urge to trail his fingers along them to her slightly parted lips where soft puffs of air escaped her. He blushed at his own thoughts and blushed even harder when he realised he also had an erection poking against his pants. It was only natural, he tried to tell himself. This was just a body's natural reaction, he tried to tell himself. This was not the first time he had woken up with morning wood; of course he was a grown man. But, he had never woken up next to Toni before and this was far too embarrassing.

Steve immediately tried to push himself out of bed but strong arms draped itself around his torso and he remained lying on his back.

"mm, where you going?" Toni's groggy voice spilled through the silence and he turned his head to his side. She was peering at him through sleepy, hooded eyes, nose scrunched up.

"umm…I-uh"Steve stuttered. He couldn't think of a response. He didn't want to alert her of his situation-that would be far too embarrassing. Yet, he couldn't think of anything. Also, he liked the warmth that crept through his chest as she gently rubbed a hand over his stomach-slowly and gently. And he didn't know whether to protest when she crawled and draped herself over him, a leg thrown over his own.

"you okay?" She mumbled into his chest as she drew lazy pattern with her finger over his clothes. Her eyes were closed; she seemed to be dwelling between the states of sleep and awareness.

"I um..need the..I need to go to the toilet."Steve stuttered, intensely peering at the tiny crack in the ceiling; it grows larger and larger in his mind.

The hand soothingly rubbing his belly stopped and he felt eyes on him even before he turned to face Toni who seemed to be looking at him with alert eyes; there was also something teasing in them.

Suddenly, Toni climbed over him, caging his tiny body with hers. He felt the pressure of her body, the tickle of hair that fell over his face and neck, and alarmingly, the sting of Toni nipping at his collarbone, tracing the lines of his neck with her tongue. Steve stifled a gasp and folded his fingers into the bedsheets as Toni continued to suck bruises into his shoulder. It felt good, it felt better than good as he felt Toni's hand trailing down his stomach and over his trousers. Hr couldn't stifle a moan this time, the sensation utterly different than him touching himself.

It lasted a mere moment before nervousness clenched in his stomach, burned behind his eyes and just as Toni managed to unzip his trousers and slip her hand in, Steve pushed her off and with a hasty apology, ran to the small bathroom. He had never been gladder for it in his life than today since he and Bucky had a communal toilet and if he had to run off to the hallway now, he would die of mortification. Not that he didn't want to. He really really wanted to.

Once inside the tiny Steve made sure he locked the door behind him. He moved to the sink and stopped in front of the mirror. And for the first time in his life, it bothered him how he looked. He was pasty white and scrawny with sharp angles of protruding bones.

Looking at the reflection, he critically brought his hands up, pulled his ears backwards, twisted his head from side to side to see if it made any difference, and then let go with a sigh, shame and disgust burning in his stomach, his chest, his throat, tasting like bile and he wondered, not for the first time, how anyone could ever find him attractive. Especially Toni, who could have any bloke she wanted. She was as beautiful as she was smart.

He turned away deliberately and leaned against the sink. He still had a little problem to take care of-the reason he was now couped up in the bathroom. His trousers were already unzipped, thanks to Toni but his erection had gone down a little with humiliation; though, not enough to be completely go about normal business. Steve was ashamed to do this with Toni just outside. He almost felt lecherous but mere thought of Toni a few moments ago, had him biting the inside of his cheeks as he stroked himself.

Masturbating was perfectly ordinary-there was a time when he believed god would strike him down or grow hair on his palm or turn blind from it, as the old-wives' tales goes but growing up, but now it was normal. But, that was all he had so far. He had only masturbated. He had never been with a woman. Toni was his first kiss. He hadn't thought beyond that. Maybe, that was a lie.

Bucky would call him a fuddy duddy* if he said this but he also believed in marriage and no sex before marriage. He was disillusioned enough to believe Toni would want to marry him but maybe, just maybe. But, most days, he was afraid she would finally see him for the scrawny 90 pound asthmatic and leave him.

Steve came sooner than he usually did, under minutes. The thoughts of smiling red lips and dark eyes more potent than ever. He stared down at himself in shame and burning red humiliation. Some part of his brain also supplied him with worries about his size. It was embarrassing to admit, and something he rarely thought about. He had seen men undress while recruiting, and Steve had to admit, he himself was on the lower spectrum of average. Maybe, even smaller. He had seen Bucky naked numerous times too and compared to his friend, he was definitely small. It was a ridiculous though to envy someone over it but there it was.

And now, that he had just come high from the orgasm, he felt the niggling in his chest grow. His stomach dropped nervously. He washed himself before doing up his trousers.

With, trepidation he unlocked the door and walked out. Toni wasn't in the room. He didn't know whether to sigh in relief or groan in frustration. He had to talk to Toni though. He had to tell her a deal of many things. With a sudden focus, he searched for his medical file that he was sure had with him. He had come to Toni's last night as soon as he could, and somehow fallen asleep in Toni's bed.

Toni's apartment wasn't too big so the only other place he could look for Toni, and where he found her was the kitchen. She was sitting on chair tapping her fingers against the countertop.

"Water is boiling." Steve said as he saw the bubbling water.

" ."She told him absentmindedly, without pause. Steve walked closer and saw 4 eggs jolting against each other in the boiling liquid.

"Soft boiled or hard boiled?" She asked him without looking and Steve awkwardly nodded, which didn't make sense.

Toni, however seemed to take an answer from that and turned off the gas stove.

Neither Steve nor Toni said anything said anything as she placed the egg on the stand and started to break the shell. She tore a piece of toast that was stacked and dipped it in the yolk.

The silence was oppressing as they faced each other on the tiny dining table.

"Toni.."Steve began at the same as Toni called his name, "Steve."

They both chuckled and the mood in the kitchen lifted a little.

"I am sorry but my rations were running out and I don't have much for breakfast." Toni stated, waving at their meagre breakfast.

"No No! This is more than enough!" Steve shook his head. "But that is not what you wanted to say, is it?"

"No."Toni smiled a little then stretched to the chair beside her and pulled his medical file. Steve hadn't even noticed that.

"Yeah, I wanted to tell you about it last night but you weren't back yet."Steve couldn't help but sound excited.

Sensing the excitement, Toni too smiled at him-a little sadly but Steve couldn't tell, "Well, Captain Rogers, what did I tell you, they would take your stubborn ass sooner or later!"

"I am not a captain yet, Toni." Steve blushed and tore his bread and popped it into his mouth. "That will probably never happen or take forever if it did."

"You underestimate yourself."

"Funny, because everyone usually tell me otherwise." Steve said, and there wasn't dejectment in his voice, only acceptance. But not defeat. He had been told most of his life how he always overestimated himself and his potential and even if they didn't say it with words; they said it with their eyes and their slight disapproval, Hell, even Bucky sometimes. He didn't let their words get to him. They may think he was weak and meek and unless he was submissive, he wasn't defeated. Until he fought with his last breath, he would still stand tall as he could.

* * *

**End Notes**:

Yes, Steve Rogers has a tiny penis. Pass it on (◡‿◡✿) Sorry, I just couldn't help it! But, can I just say something at the risk of sounding like a pervert? Chris Evans looks like a guy who has a big dick but doesn't brag about it (¬‿¬)

This chapter was fun to write. Penis envy aside!

Please review because they make my dark heart glow with a fiant light that brightens my entire existence!(∪ ◡ ∪)


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